Batman Arkham Asylum Review
September 26, 2009 by Urinate Logjams
Filed under -Reviews-, PC, PS3, Xbox 360
Batman: Arkham Asylum
In Batman Arkham Asylum you play as Dark Knight Bruce Wayne AKA Batman of DC Universe superhero. Oh no! The Joker (not Heath Ledger this white faced demon devil is voice overed by Mark Hamil from Star Wars) did take over Arkham Asylum and only Batman can do save the city of Gotham from poison called venom that transforms bad guys from regular sized buff muscles to like Hulk size monster men. It up to you the player (as Batman) to use x Ray vision and batarangs and exploding gel to beat up gang guys in this mad crazy prison house. And the story compelled me to play the story. The story goes to crazy (pun intended!) places like messing with Batman’s brain by Scarecrow, Poison Ivy using big plants to cover island in plants and big Bane did fight Batman too. So many badguys that I lost count while playing and fighting using X button to punch! Slow motion adds layers of evocative passion to fist fights which paralel stealth levels that change the pace a lot.
Gameplay is good because of lots of fighting and sneaking like a real bat should. Grappling hook makes it fun to get around the almost thousands of areas in the literally living and breathing Arkham Island. Since this are the best Batman games since…….,….. oh wait there are none. Until now of course because this is Arkham Asylum! Now I know you is shocked to here that this is good but believe it! Insane (no pun intended!) graphics take visual polygons to new levels with destroyed cape and bloody face when Batman gets hurt meanwhile the world looks like you could literally fly into your tv (do not forget your cape!!) and live in it for real. Its that intense and don’t forget the magnanimus frame rate and superfluous stashes of stellar secrets made by The Riddler. Taking pictures as Batman might sound boring but it adds to the already perfect game by unlocking history lessons in comic books by Batman comic guys at DC comics.
This is unquestionably the most inpressively submersive and great Batman game ever. It is even better than movie Dark Knight and comic book like “Dark Knight Strikes Again” by Frank Miller who didn’t write this. Paul Dini original Batman creator created a story so good that my eyes literally popped out of my head during plot twists and shocking moments which there is plenty of because Arkham Asylum is best game of the year. It makes you literally feel like Bruce Wayne as sneaking and punching Dark Knight solving mysteries like missing police comissioner Jim (James) Gordon. All in all it adds up to a compelling package that’s worth the $40 it cost on launch day and $60 like it cost now. No matter how much this game costs there is no cost for wearing the Batman suit and defeating giant Joker in final boss fight that makes all other boss fights look like mud on Batmans boots. Play this game or forever wonder why you didn’t.
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My first suggestion is to re-read the article you just wrote before you post it. Otherwise you’ll end up with errors such as these:
1: “In Batman Arkham Asylum you play as Dark Knight Bruce Wayne AKA Batman of DC Universe superhero. ”
Just say Batman. Or Batman, of the DC Universe. There is no such thing as the “DC Universe superhero.”
2-”…and only Batman can do save the city of Gotham from poison called venom that transforms bad guys from regular sized buff muscles to like Hulk size monster men”
This sentence structure is wrong. Read it out loud and listen to how it sounds. Also, don’t say “turn buff muscles to LIKE hulk size monster men.”
Don’t use “like” when you speak,it sounds like that movie Clueless.
3: It up to you the player (as Batman) to use x Ray vision and batarangs and exploding gel to beat up gang guys in this mad crazy prison house.
I don’t know where to begin with this. We know the player is batman. It’s X-ray, not x Ray. The sentence is poorly written, and mad crazy prison house is the worse replacement for “asylum” or “sanitarium” I’ve
ever heard.
4: “Now I know you is shocked to here that this is good”
Yes. I “IS” shocked to “HEAR” that this is good.
5: “Paul Dini original Batman creator created a story so good that my eyes literally popped out of my head”
Paul “Dini” is NOT the original batman creator. That honor belongs to Bob Kane. You can get sued for writing that.
Oh…and if your eyes “literally” popped out of your head….well….hm never mind. Probably why you don’t bother spell checking…
Now, I could be wrong here,and this could be some kind of “joke” sight as a tribute to bad reviews, but pretty much all of the reviews I’ve read on here so far are just as bad. This one however, made me laugh so I chose it to comment on. If you are serious about this stuff, please try and at LEAST read what you’ve written. I’m sure you’ll notice a huge leap in quality from your articles.
Also…if this game is so incredible, why did you give it a 7.2/10 ? Can you elaborate on what didn’t work for you? Why it didn’t deserve a higher, or a lower score?
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I’ll let the writer know about you comment, I just get reviews sent to me from people around the world. Thanks for giving out your honest opinion.
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thank you for constructive criticism of my review Batman Arkham Asylum. I thank you for the helpful tips to improve my writing!! Can I give you some? This is not a joke “sight”. It is gaming “site”. Thank you again for feedback I will use it for helping my writing get gooder.
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lol…nicely done there :P.
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-COMMENT REPORTED-
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comment deleting not cool especially comment that defedn my writeing
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Sorry but he wasn’t defending the review, he was pointing out grammer flaws…aka his name.
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grammer can be learned but talent can’t, dont let the haters get you down Logjams youve got what it takes to write.
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I don’t think there are actually “thousands of environments” in the game. A couple of dozen, maybe, as a fairly generous estimate, but maybe thousands is a little excessive?
And there have been plenty of Batman games before Arkham Asylum. A quick glance at Wikipedia throws up a tonne of previous games. Might have been worth checking a few facts before sending this one in.
And yeah, as Hydraeternal said, it might have helped to know exactly what it was that knocked the game down to a 7. Reading the review, I was expecting an 8 or 9, at least!
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This review literally made me feel like I was playing the game. I want this game so bad. Thanks for making me want this game so bad. Really, sounds awesome– also, Batman is super awesome. Thanks for helping by giving information about a really cool sounding game.
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Now before you decide to make a comment, please note that i have re written the article and hopefully it is a lot better.
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This has quickly become my favorite site ever. Urinate Logjams(brilliant anagram by the way), your review was fantastic before it got rewritten.
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Yeah, I’m going to change it back :P.
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Thanks for changing it back, it’s much better now.
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this site is hillarious especially this review! good thing that they featured it on inside gaming, lots of good laughs man